I know this is good for me. I know that this is all part of what I want to do with my life, but damn it’s hard.
I’m in Connecticut working on a 48 hour film festival with a couple of friends and plenty of strangers. Don’t get me wrong, they’re all nice. But they’re not a comfort.
They’re not my dog. They’re not my brother. They’re not my parents. And I know it’s just the first day, and it takes time to open up to people for me. But this is more than I’ve done in my whole life, completed in less than a month.
This is the furthest north I’ve ever been. And the furthest from those I care about most. And today has just ached from the inside out. I’m in knots and my breath is shallow and my heart pounds.
I dream of adventure and exploration, but fucking sometimes I want quiet, and peace, and comfort.